Spring 2024: Page 66 and a Pivot
After school one day, I was tabling for Girls on the Run, trying to connect with families attending a basketball game and recruit new participants for the upcoming season. A colleague stopped by my table, and we chatted about the sheer exhaustion we were dealing with as new teachers in our Title I school. During our conversation, she mentioned our teaching contract and the tuition reimbursement our district offered as something she was considering for her future.
“We have tuition reimbursement?!” I asked, certain that I must have misheard or misunderstood.
I had never seriously considered a master’s degree due to the financial burden. Even more, I had often felt a certain regret that I followed my passion for teaching rather than literally anything else. But when I got home from that tabling event and opened my teaching contract, there it was on page 66: tuition reimbursement. This was rare, something not many school districts in Michigan offer. If my district covered my tuition costs, then the only thing stopping me from higher education was me.
I researched nearly every online curriculum and instruction program in Michigan. While I did not necessarily want an easy program, I had no clue how I would balance teaching with graduate school. My then-fiancé and now-husband, Matt, a Michigan State engineering alum, pushed me to consider MSU. A degree involving technology felt like a forward-thinking choice, so I explored the Master of Arts in Educational Technology (MAET) before landing on the Learning Experience Design (MALXD) page. I set up a call with Candace Robertson and anxiously awaited it.
During that conversation with Candace, I felt deeply seen. I was nearly done with my first year of teaching in a new district, and I knew I had so much to learn and improve upon. Candace began by discussing the MAET program, which I had grown less interested in leading up to the call—perhaps just a gut feeling. Looking back, my biggest fear at that time was getting “stuck” in the classroom. I had struggled to find meaningful work for years after moving to Michigan with my bachelor’s in education; it took five years post-grad before I found myself back inside a classroom. Once I was finally there, I felt an uncomfortable apprehension: if I ever wanted to leave, would I even be able to, knowing what the job market had looked like for me previously?
I mentioned to Candace that I wanted to work more closely with families and community members to improve our schools, and that I was interested in focusing on adult learners. That is when she shifted our focus to the MALXD program. We discussed all the ways this framework would help me not just outside the classroom, but crucially, within the context of my 6th-grade ELA classroom as well. I ended the call feeling more direction, and a few days later, my application for the MALXD program was submitted.
In the time since submitting that application, my life looks much different. My second semester (Spring 2025) of grad school became the hardest five months of my life after losing my dad, which then rolled into planning my wedding during an impossibly challenging summer. I suppose those challenges were a way of teaching me that, with the right support, my own intrinsic motivation, and fantastic educators, success is still possible even in the hardest of times. At the same time, my role at school started to shift. While I do not have a formal leadership title, I found myself being called on regularly: Can you run this PLC meeting? Which textbooks should we consider for next year? Can we observe you pilot this new reading intervention program? Each of these moments was a reminder that I had become more purposeful to my colleagues, and honestly, a much louder voice for our concerns. MALXD provided me with the tools to become a better teacher. That was never an explicitly stated goal when I was looking for a way out of the classroom, but it seems rather obvious as I write it now. To better understand how I got here, it is important to look back on my last two years.
Fall 2024: Navigating the Cognitive Load
I began my first semester experiencing an anxious excitement unlike anything I had felt before. Between readings, assignments, training for a half marathon, and navigating my dad’s illness, I felt like I had almost disappeared from the real world. The transition back into being an adult learner was incredibly jarring. What kept me afloat was the profound grace of my instructors. Dr. Brittany Dillman guided me through the academic shock of CEP 800: The Psychology of Learning in School and Other Settings with unwavering support. She helped me navigate the overwhelming cognitive load of being a new student, which in turn changed how I viewed my 6th-grade students.
Dr. B in EAD 861: Adult Learning also became an unexpected support. As a fellow runner, she encouraged me through my family struggles and race training, reminding me that running can be so important for the brain and a space to generate new ideas. Both professors taught me that getting to the finish line—whether metaphorical or literal—requires immense intrinsic motivation.
This focus on intrinsic motivation became the lens through which I viewed my first major assignment in EAD 861. One of my first assignments was to interview an adult learner. I chose my friend Kelsey, who had just finished cosmetology school in the midst of a career shift from the corporate fashion world. Discussing her experience highlighted the theories I was reading about regarding autonomy and intrinsic motivation. Kelsey brought drive and professional experience to her career pivot, but her cosmetology program’s rigid, one-size-fits-all curriculum failed to nurture those qualities. Instead of leveraging her existing knowledge and intrinsic motivation, the program prioritized standardized instruction and lacked meaningful mentorship. Listening to her frustrations was a reminder of why my own experience in the MALXD program was different. Because my graduate environment actively supported my autonomy and pursuit of self-improvement, my motivation remained organic.
Summer 2025: Dismantling the Points System
This shift in how I viewed my students’ cognitive load prepared me for the paradigm shift I experienced in CEP 813: Electronic Assessment for Teaching and Learning. At the time I took this course, I had already experienced three ungraded courses in the MALXD program as a student, but actually understanding the foundation for the ungrading practice was transformative. Before this course, my grading philosophy was simple: points! I graded using points, despite my students not really understanding what those points meant or how they translated into actual knowledge.
CEP 813 dismantled that pre-existing belief, largely by exploring Wayne Au’s (2008) research, which argues that it is impossible to accurately reduce a person to a numerical quantity that reflects their lived experience and acquired knowledge, yet this is exactly what our traditional grading and high-stakes testing systems rely on. Reading Unequal by Design and working in a Title I school, it was all a bit too familiar. These systems inherently favor students from higher socioeconomic backgrounds and create a cycle in which wealthier families are statistically more likely to perform well, effectively standardizing inequality.
I have made a much more concerted effort to shift the focus in my classroom to understanding, regularly asking my students: What did you learn from this? How much effort did you put into learning? In shifting the focus away from myself as the singular expert and instead acting as a guide, I found that they engage with the work much more meaningfully—or, at least, as meaningfully as is developmentally appropriate for a 6th-grader.
Of course, reconciling what I learned in this course with the reality of a traditional school system takes time. My students still earn grades in my class, so I have not completely adopted Alfie Kohn’s (2011) practice of ungrading. However, I have dedicated significant time to student reflections and conferencing about what they want to know more about. Recently, my students completed a small group research project, and in the end, I gave each student the grade they believed they deserved. Nearly all of their self-assessed grades perfectly mirrored what I would have given them in a traditional system. The only exceptions were students who were harder on themselves than I would have been; in those cases, I gave them the higher grade.
My students are still a bit apprehensive of this approach. During a recent Socratic seminar, the question was raised: What would school be like if we got rid of grades? Many students were deeply concerned about what this would mean for sports eligibility and how they would be rewarded by their families if they did not “earn” a traditional letter grade. We still have a ways to go to untangle these systems, but this reflective assessment practice is one I see continuing long after I have completed the MALXD program.
Fall 2025: Designing for Discernment
If ungrading was about giving students autonomy over their assessment, CEP 857: Current Topics and Trends in Learning Design pushed me to give them autonomy over their environment. This course introduced me to Liberatory Design, a framework that fundamentally changed how I approach problem-solving in my school.
In Fall 2025, during a staff meeting, I asked for volunteers to attend a technology committee meeting. Did this committee exist? Absolutely not. Did I have any idea what I was doing? Also, absolutely not. But eight teachers showed up, all bringing varying viewpoints on how technology affects our students. Prior to this meeting, I had interviewed my students to get their perspectives. I came to the conclusion that our students actually understood the importance of technology, but they were deeply struggling with the self-control to use it in meaningful ways.
My colleagues and I spent hours discussing what “good” technology use looked like and ultimately decided that discernment was the missing key. Our students did not just need functional tech skills; they needed the autonomy to know when, how, and why to use certain technologies. Thus, our Discernment and Focus Protocol was conceived.
This project encapsulates one of the core goals of the MALXD program: Evaluate leading design principles and frameworks, modify, and apply them through a critical lens focused on equity and social justice. Using the Liberatory Design model, I realized we could not just impose a top-down rule blocking all technology. We had to see, engage with, and act on the problem alongside the students. An equitable education means giving students the tools to navigate a tech-heavy world, not just punishing them for being distracted by it.
Initially, I designed a website for this protocol. But I quickly found myself frustrated. After so much time invested in creating a solution, was the answer really just another website? How could a website possibly teach discernment? That frustration led me to create a zine to accompany the protocol; it is one of the most creative artifacts in my portfolio because it captures the messy, reflective reality of design. The Liberatory Design framework is cyclical, much like my learning in this master’s program has been. The work is iterative and constantly improving on itself. Perhaps most importantly, it highlights that the reflections on our own learning are what actually solidify the learning itself.
Spring 2026: Finding My Footing
Even two years into this program, I sometimes struggle to concretely define Learning Experience Design (LXD) to others. I usually say something like, “I make required learning a lot more interesting,” or “I focus on how to use technologies to create and make meaning of the world around us.” When I applied for the MALXD program, I do not think I was entirely sure what I was getting into. Today, I leave with a deep understanding of the learning sciences and design thinking.
Ironically, the degree I originally sought as an exit strategy has anchored me firmly to my current school. This is true for bureaucratic reasons, of course—I owe my district my time in exchange for their tuition reimbursement—but it is equally true for academic ones. I want to see how my designs impact future learning. I feel deeply committed to providing the best education I can, which means figuring out how to change the very systems that are holding students, families, educators, and communities back.
Stepping into the formal identity of a “designer” to do this work still leaves me with a bit of imposter syndrome. I struggle constantly with graphic design, and the website hosting this portfolio is a product of that exact struggle. But through this program, I have explored theories that challenged my own narrow conceptions of what design actually is. I am a creative person, despite the self-doubt I feel even just writing that sentence. I find new, efficient, and effective ways to do things. I create systems that help not only myself but others. I used to feel incredibly frustrated and overwhelmed that my district did not provide me with a prescriptive, scripted curriculum. Today, because of the MALXD program, I realize that the absence of a script is actually an invitation. I have learned how to iterate on my own ideas and design environments that genuinely support my learners.
I am not entirely sure where I will end up in two years. Teaching has always been my passion, and I cannot imagine a world where I am not doing it in some capacity. Still, the idea of being in a traditional public school classroom until the end of my career fills me with a lot of anxiety.
Education is impossibly challenging in 2026. We are facing technological shifts we have not seen in a long time. And while I may not know exactly what my job title will be a decade from now, I am no longer just waiting for a way out. Now, I am prepared to intentionally contribute to the evolving field of education—whether through classroom practice, curriculum design, or broader educational innovation. My vision is to actively shape learning environments that empower both students and educators to thrive amid ongoing transformation. Because of MALXD, I have the toolkit to answer the most important question: How will I be able to shape the next generation of education?
References
Au, W. (2008). Unequal by design: High-stakes testing and the standardization of inequality. Routledge.
Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68-78.
Cherry, K. (2025, November 9). How Vygotsky defined the zone of proximal development. Verywell Mind.
Kohn, A. (2011). The case against grades. Alfie Kohn.
National Equity Project. (2021). Leading for equity framework.
Vygotsky, L. S. (1978). Mind in society: The development of higher psychological processes. Harvard University Press.